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Movie reviews

Scored on five bulbs, reviewed in full, and explained where it needs explaining — with the quizzes and rankings that go with them. Read before you watch; come back after for the ending, the characters and the argument.

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Mortal Kombat II

GLOWING
Mortal Kombat II gets 3/5: slick fights and game-true effects, but a crowded cast, flat jokes and a tournament that rarely makes its stakes felt.

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Harry Potter

The films in order, and the questions the quizzes ask.

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The best we've seen

Three bulbs and up — the ones we'd put on again.

  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    BlazingCuarón's Harry Potter is the best-looking and funniest of the three, and the one to watch twice. Four bulbs, one real flaw: you cannot see it.3 quizzesHarry Potter hub →Daniel Radcliffe · Rupert Grint Reviewed

  • Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

    BlazingChris Columbus's second Harry Potter film is darker, funnier and better built than its reputation, even if the mystery never quite holds together.1 explainer3 quizzesHarry Potter hub →Daniel Radcliffe · Rupert Grint Reviewed

  • Spider-Man: Brand New Day

    BlazingNobody remembers Peter Parker, his own powers are getting away from him, and the last half hour will take you apart.Tom Holland · Zendaya Reviewed

  • Obsession

    BlazingA novelty toy grants one wish. What follows is the year's most uncomfortable horror — and the read it earns isn't the obvious one.Michael Johnston · Inde Navarrette Reviewed

  • The Odyssey

    GlowingGorgeous, overlong, and strangely unsurprising — because prophecy tells you what's coming. Better the second time.Matt Damon · Anne Hathaway Reviewed

  • Mortal Kombat II

    GlowingMortal Kombat II gets 3/5: slick fights and game-true effects, but a crowded cast, flat jokes and a tournament that rarely makes its stakes felt.Karl Urban · Adeline Rudolph Reviewed

  • Mayday

    GlowingKenneth Branagh is the reason to watch Mayday. The middle hour sags and most of the jokes miss, but the friendship carries it anyway.Ryan Reynolds · Kenneth Branagh Reviewed

  • Tony

    GlowingMatt Johnson's Bourdain film is a warm, familiar coming-of-age story carried by Dominic Sessa and Antonio Banderas. Good, not startling.Dominic Sessa · Antonio Banderas Reviewed

  • The Last Sunrise

    GlowingFamiliar beats, played fresh. Carlson Young's Mallorca romance works on staging and cast even when the script gives them nothing new to do.Ending explainedMaia Reficco · Fernando Lindez Reviewed

  • Insidious: Out of the Further

    GlowingA horror film that would rather make you uncomfortable than scare you. It is good at that. The scale of the threat it keeps promising never arrives.Amelia Eve · Island Austin Reviewed

  • Send Help

    GlowingSam Raimi's island thriller is funny, filthy and sharp about office power. It stops arguing the moment it works out it can escalate instead.Rachel McAdams · Dylan O'Brien Reviewed

  • The End of Oak Street

    GlowingDavid Robert Mitchell's dinosaur picture is fast, funny and genuinely nasty. It's also a family drama that gets solved by a plot device instead of by its family.Ending explainedAnne Hathaway · Ewan McGregor Reviewed
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ShatteredBulbs

Read before. Talk after.

What we do

We watch the whole thing — film, season or episode — then score it on five bulbs and write it up properly. The review is for before you watch. Everything below the line is for after.

How the bulbs work

Bright is a point, Cracked is half, Shattered is nothing. Five bulbs per review; three and up means we'd put it on again. The full scale →

Seen it already?

Every review is spoiler-free above a marked line. Below it is where we talk — the ending, who did what and why, what it was really about. For the films that need more, there's an Unscrewed piece that goes the whole way. Unscrewed →